How to Write and Publish a Book When You Have Small Children at Home
Imagine running a marathon … in Old Navy flip flops … while it’s pouring down rain … on a road that is under construction for crater-sized potholes. That, my friends, is what it feels like to write a book when you have small children at home.
(When Is My Novel Ready to Read?)
I know, I know, that’s not very encouraging. But don’t walk away just yet. Because I’m here to tell you, although it’s one of the most challenging ways to write and publish a book, it’s still possible. How do I know this? Because I did it, which is why I know you can do it too.
While most of us don’t have the kind of resources to work on a book as our full-time job without any sort of income coming in, there are still lots of things you can do to squeeze writing into the margins of your life. Here are 10 of my favorite tips.
1. See your children as a benefit, not a hindrance
The first thing we have to address is your mindset. Children bring a unique kind of joy to our lives, that’s why I want to encourage you to see your children as a benefit in your writing career, not a hindrance. Not only can they inspire hilarious and even thoughtful scenes in your book, but they even have the ability to make you more productive.
Yes, you read that correctly: They can make you more productive! How? Because time constraints will cause you to take your writing time seriously. Your writing blocks are likely going to be short and unpredictable, which will give you more motivation to put the distractions away—far away—and get as much done as you can.
2. Make a plan
This is key. If you want to work on a book while you have small children at home, you’ve got to have a plan for what you’re going to work on before you sit down to write. Your writing time will likely be short and sporadic, so if you have a plan ahead of time, you can get right to work the moment you sit down.
This might look like making a list of scenes or topics you need to write at the beginning of each week and checking them off as you complete them. Never again will you waste time trying to figure out what you’re going to write, and this will be an integral part of making tip #3 and #4 possible.
3. Practice the skill of writing in short spurts
I’ve heard prolific writers talk about the importance of flow. They start writing but it’s not until 30 or so minutes in that they’re really writing anything worthwhile. Unfortunately, parents don’t typically get this luxury. Sometimes a nap only lasts 30 minutes, so whatever you’re writing needs to be decent and usable-ish. I’m not saying it has to be perfect, but getting the idea of flow out of your head will serve you to do your best work the moment your butt hits the chair, not when you’re finally flowing.
It will also serve you to practice the skill of writing with short notice. Your spouse gets off work early? Your mother-in-law shows up unexpectedly? Your kid fell asleep watching a movie on the couch? Run away and write!
4. Take nap time seriously—and if your kids don’t nap, implement quiet time
Nap time is when I wrote the bulk of my debut novel, An American Immigrant. I only had one child at the time, but once my second was born, and I was editing my novel with a publisher, I had to get creative. So what did I do? When the toddler napped, the newborn baby got strapped to my chest so that my hands were free to type.
Today, there are days my toddler isn’t tired enough for a nap, that’s why I’ve implemented “quiet time.” During this two-hour block of time, he plays and looks at books in his room while the baby naps and I get my writing done.
This chunk of time is so crucial, so again, take it seriously! This is not the time to catch up on email, clean your kitchen, or call anyone back. Instead, put your phone on ‘do not disturb’ and get to work.
Check out Johanna Rojas Vann’s An American Immigrant here:
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5. Find help
Just like child rearing, it’s really hard to write a book alone. That’s why I want you to ask for as much help as possible in this season. A few ways you can do that are:
Swap babysitting responsibilities with a friend who also has a big goal.Visit your parents/in-laws for the sole purpose of getting more writing time in (or ask them to visit you). You get to write and they get quality time with their grandchildren—win, win.Look for room in your budget to hire a temporary sitter or hire older children in your neighborhood as “mother’s helpers” to save on the expense.
6. Get creative with childcare
I wrote a lot of my book at my local YMCA. As a member, I’m able to use their Y-Play (childcare for young children) two hours a day up to nine hours a week. That’s a ton of potential writing time! In that season, I wasn’t using my Y to exercise, I was just using it for the childcare—and can you blame me?
My city also recently launched a co-working space that has childcare included! The best part is, there’s no long-term contract, so you can cancel your membership as soon as you’ve made enough progress on your book.
7. Write when your kids are distracted
Maybe it’s raining outside and your kids are begging you for a movie, or maybe they’re distracted with Play-Doh or a brand new train set … these are all opportunities to get some words on a page. Again, this is why tip #3 and #4 are so important.
8. Write when your spouse is home and at odd hours of the day
There weren’t many days I wanted to leave my husband to write. I really enjoy hanging out with him when he gets home from work, but I was also desperate to make headway on my novel.
That’s why I often left the house on a Friday afternoon (his half-days) or Sunday afternoon when the kids were napping. I left begrudgingly, but at the end of the day, I kept reminding myself that it was just a season. I wouldn’t be doing this forever, and my end goal was worth it. It also helps to have an encouraging spouse who will push you to get away when they’re home!
9. Get away for a full day every once in a while
I’m part of a writer’s group that gets away for a full-day retreat once a quarter. We don’t leave town, but we do lock ourselves in a church or co-working space for at least eight hours. This is yet another way I was able to make big progress on my manuscript when I was a stay-at-home mom with no regular childcare help.
You don’t have to be in a writer’s group to do this! Simply choose a day once a month or once a quarter when you can get away for a full day to focus on your book. You can go as crazy as renting an Airbnb in the woods or you can keep it simple by hopping from one coffee shop to another.
10. Brainstorm on the go
Finally, it’s important not to use your writing time to brainstorm. I have found it to be so helpful to do my creative thinking time while I’m walking with my kids or watching them play at the park. There’s something about being outside that sparks endless ideas, so why not use the time you’re already outside to let the creative juices flow? Take a notebook with you or record your ideas in your notes app and then pull them out during your planning time.
This is also a great time to listen to podcasts or audiobooks to spark even more inspiration for your own writing.
If you’re like me and you were a little discouraged by the advice in On Writing—Stephen King’s memoir on writing—that says writers need to write every single day, I hope this post encourages you to give yourself grace. You’re in the midst of one of the most challenging seasons people face in their lifetime—raising small children. Stephen King had the gift of a wife to help him at home, but some of us are the wives. But that doesn’t mean we can’t also be the writers.
Write on, my friends, you can do it!