The Journey of Writing a Dual Memoir
In my forthcoming dual memoir, My Vietnam, Your Vietnam, co-written by my father, I mention how little my father and I communicate. This pattern dates back to my childhood and, in many ways, is a result of his quiet disposition. Even though I describe him as “the man who doesn’t speak,” it’s hard to believe that someone who has written more than 20 books about the history of Vietnam could be so quiet—unless you ask him about Vietnam, of course.
(9 Questions About Working With a Coauthor.)
Throughout the crafting of this memoir, we didn’t talk about it much. A friend asked, “How did you manage to co-author a book with your father without discussing it with him?” I simply replied, “That’s a good question.”
So, how did we actually co-author this book?
Both of our portions of the book were written many years ago. After my mother passed when I was a teenager, my father wrote a memoir, which is now out of print, about his escape from Vietnam and the process of rebuilding his life as a medical doctor in the U.S. This memoir became the foundation for his parts of our forthcoming book.
I didn’t fully embrace his book when he published it more than two decades ago. I simply wanted to know the main points of his story: his escape from Vietnam via Phu Quoc Island in 1975, his arrival in refugee camps in Guam and Pennsylvania, and the early years of his life on the East Coast.
In regards to my sections of the book, I started writing while living and working in Vietnam in my 20s, as an attempt to document my experiences as a Vietnamese American in Vietnam—mainly for myself. My father and I never spoke directly about our perspectives of Vietnam, even after I spent a significant period of time there. When I returned to the States, I continued working on these stories, but they felt unfinished, so I put my drafts away for nearly five years.
It wasn’t until two decades after my father published his book that I realized our work could be combined in one project.
During the pandemic, I returned to my writing and made a profound realization that our stories merged together could be a powerful narrative. My father’s story, while filled with traumatic events such as the loss of his first son and of his homeland, was told through a historical lens. He doesn’t describe how these events impacted him emotionally. On the contrary, my story lacked the historical perspective; it reads as I would describe myself at the time—young, naive, emotional.
Woven together, our stories created a body of work that felt complete: intergenerational, nuanced, and rich.
When I asked my father for additional details about his story, I didn’t share with him that I was working on a dual-memoir. He thought I was simply editing some of his work related to Vietnam. Only when I finished the manuscript did he read the entire story. Much to my relief, he liked the book (or that’s what he says) and only made a few suggestions for edits. Through the back and forth process of editing and publishing, I do feel that my father and I have become closer—we were forced to communicate as it related to the book.
Techniques for Creating a Dual Memoir
Writers may wonder what makes a dual perspective memoir work. Here’s part of what I uncovered during the process.
Unifying Themes
While the memoir isn’t chronological, it is divided into themes that create a narrative, and the sections provide a framework to guide the reader through the alternating chapters. In a dual memoir, it’s important to consider the themes that will emerge and ensure they weave through both narratives.
I divided the book into six parts, each focusing loosely on a specific theme. For example, in “The Seductress of the South,” my father and I share our memories and experiences in Saigon. The opening section, “Departure/Arrival,” covers the time period when my father details his escape from Vietnam, and I highlight the excitement and nervousness of moving to Vietnam in my early 20s.
Central themes guiding the book include a love for Vietnam, the search for home (both internally and externally), identity, and the longing to connect.
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Complementary Voices
One of the strongest elements of this book is that our voices are complementary and share a unique perspective of Vietnam through different generational lenses. My father’s narrative provides historical context, while mine offers a more contemporary perspective from the early 21st century. While his chapters focused on the impact of war and the challenges faced by Vietnamese refugees, my narrative provides the perspective of a young person searching for herself, building a career, and discovering a new country.
To maintain reader interest, I kept the chapters short, ensuring neither voice dominated. The weaving and pacing of our narratives create an engaging reading experience with a multifaceted, generational perspective of the country.
Connection and Tension Between Authors
Our unique father-daughter dynamic created both connection and tension throughout the book. Despite our infrequent communication, our shared love for writing and desire to express ourselves through our craft formed a connection that transcended the distance between us.
This tension, essential in any work of art, ultimately contributed to the book’s intrigue. As readers will discover, we are like passing ships in the night, often not looking toward one another. However, our collaboration highlighted the power of our individual voices and our shared history.
Shared Vision
Our shared desire to write and express our thoughts and feelings, as well as our deep love for Vietnam, unified the book and drove our collaborative effort. Crafting a dual memoir allowed us to create a unique and compelling narrative that celebrated our individual voices while honoring our connection to our shared motherland. Without those two unifying threads, it would have been much more difficult to create a cohesive, complementary narrative.
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A Challenging, but Worthwhile Journey
For aspiring authors considering a dual memoir, know that it is both challenging and rewarding. The process can strengthen your relationship with your co-author, even if communication is infrequent, like with my father and I. However, I believe the journey of co-authoring this book brought us closer together. Although I cannot speak on my father’s behalf, the experience of crafting and publishing this book provided me with a profound sense of peace—and more importantly, reconciliation—within the context of our relationship.