Why We Should Consider Periods When Writing Middle-Grade Books
When I was 12 years old, I spent a summer visiting my father after my parents divorced. He took me, my brother, and my sister from Texas, our home, to Ohio, his home. And there, 1,000 miles away from my mother, I started my first period.
(Writing Sibling Rivalry for Middle-Grade Readers.)
I was wholly unprepared. When I saw blood in the bathroom that day, I thought something was terribly wrong with me. That I was dying. I’d had a brief talk with my mother before the trip, and I’d had a vague puberty education in fifth grade, but nothing had prepared me as I should have been prepared.
It was a frightening, lonely, traumatic, distressing experience that I can remember to this day, as though I’m still in that bathroom, panicking about ruined panties.
I wrote about this experience in my middle-grade book, The First Magnificent Summer.
Some people are uncomfortable with discussing periods in middle-grade books. A friend of mine told me about an editor who asked her to take the mention of a period out of her book, because it wasn’t a central part of the story’s plot. But what’s so wrong with a mention?
Middle-grade literature is intended for readers who are 8 to 14 years old (8-12 for middle grade, 10-14 for upper middle grade, where many of my books fall). That is squarely in the age range of puberty for most kids. And what does puberty mean for cisgender girls?
Periods.
The average age of menarche (a first period) is 12. Some adolescents get it earlier, some later. Almost half of girls get their first period before age 13.
Fiction provides access.
It’s not that we have to focus every middle-grade story that features a female protagonist on a first period or on periods in general. But here are some reasons why we should consider at least a passing mention of periods.
1. Fiction creates emotional distance.
A first period—and those thereafter, particularly for this age group—are new and scary and mostly unexpected. They just show up without any warning. Sit with that for a second, if you dare. One day there’s no blood, the next day—
Fiction provides a place where young readers can explore emotions and facts of life and pain and fear and puberty with some emotional distance. The “scary” things explored in fiction can make them seem less scary.
Girls don’t always get an education about their period, and parents don’t always talk to them about it, which can intensify their fear of this very normal life experience. When you don’t know much about something, how do you know what’s normal? Or even what to expect?
Reading about periods in fiction can help young readers learn more about the ways their bodies work—which then helps them feel less embarrassed and more confident about their bodies.
Check out R.L. Toalson’s Something Maybe Magnificent here:
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2. Periods are a regular part of an adolescent girl’s life—either because they’ve already experienced their first or they haven’t.
Not every middle-grade character we write will have experienced their first period yet—that’s fine. But it’s something every author should consider when creating characters. If a character has started their period, that will be a regular part of their life, even if those periods don’t happen every month (because cycles can be unpredictable at first—another reason they can be scary!).
If a character hasn’t had their first period, it will still be a part of their lives, because some friends will likely have started and girls compare notes, and they might wonder when their period will come or why it hasn’t yet. They’ll likely have questions—even if they never ask them aloud.
Puberty in this age group is a big deal, and for many it’s uncomfortable. If they never see a character wrestling with that they may feel alienated or confused, or they may think there’s something wrong with them or weird about them because they are wrestling with it.
Representation matters.
3. Including periods in books can help normalize them.
Fiction has a powerful normalizing effect—when readers can explore something in fiction, it removes all the baggage of societal implications. While our society may have progressed on the women’s rights front, it still has a long way to go. How often do we talk about periods? How uncomfortable does it still make us?
Periods are still often portrayed negatively in the media—or just completely ignored. Shameful things are hidden away, kept secret. The underlying message is, Periods are shameful and gross, and so are the people who experience them.
The more we talk about something the less shameful and misunderstood it becomes. The more normal it becomes.
The writers of middle-grade fiction have an amazing opportunity to show periods as something that’s part of life, no big deal. We can make it something girls don’t have to whisper about.
But what about the boys? some might ask. Aren’t we alienating boy readers when we write about periods or include them in our books?
No. Boys can benefit from learning about menstruation, too. Fiction’s gift to readers is it fosters understanding and empathy for the experiences of others. And it can help break down gender stereotypes by showing boys periods are a regular part of many girls’ lives—and periods don’t make girls gross or weak.
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As a tween who did not get much of a puberty education—and especially did not get nearly enough of an education about periods—I would have appreciated reading the narrative of characters who were dealing with the same thing, even into my young adult years, when my period became a nuisance that made my back ache and cramp every month and affected my running schedule and performance.
Now, any time I start a middle-grade story, I ask myself: Have any of my characters started their period? How will that play out in this story?
Even a passing mention is better than ignoring periods entirely. The more education menstruating tweens get, the more equipped and confident and comfortable they’ll be when the day comes and they get their first glimpse of blood.
That’s something worth writing toward.