Onyi Nwabineli: On Evaluating Our Relationship With Social Media

Onyi Nwabineli is a Nigerian British head-wrap aficionado. Born in Benin, Nigeria, she grew up in Glasgow, the Isle of Man and Newcastle, and now lives in London. Onyi is the founder of Black Pens (black-pens.com), a writing retreat for Black womxn, and cofounder of Surviving Out Loud, a fund that provides fiscal support for survivors of sexual assault. Her debut novel, Someday, Maybe was a “Good Morning America” and Book of the Month Club Pick. Visit her at Onyi-Nwabineli.com, and follow her on Twitter and Instagram.

Onyi Nwabineli

Photo by Precious Agbabiaka

In this interview, Onyi discusses how stepping into a mentor role helped inspire her new novel, Allow Me to Introduce Myself, her advice for other writers, and more!

Name: Onyi Nwabineli
Literary agent: Amy St Johnston, Aitken Alexander Associates
Book title: Allow Me to Introduce Myself
Publisher: Graydon House
Release date: May 28, 2024
Genre/category: Contemporary Fiction
Previous titles: Someday, Maybe
Elevator pitch: Throughout her childhood, Aṅụrị Chinasa was the star of her stepmother’s social media empire. Now at 25, Aṅụrị is struggling with her identity, with alcohol, and with understanding her place in a world where millions know her face. When she sees her half-sister Noelle being pushed down the same path, Aṅụrị decides to take action to ensure that Noelle has both a voice and a choice in her future.

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What prompted you to write this book?

I used to be a regular consumer of the kind of child and family content that dominates social media. At first, I saw nothing wrong with it; however, stepping into a mentor role of younger girls pushed me to ask questions about the autonomy of the children I saw on my screens. Did they want this? Did they understand the implications of what being raised publicly meant? What protections were in place for these kids? AMTIM is a snapshot of what it can mean to be the child of an influencer or an influencer at a very young age.

How long did it take to go from idea to publication? And did the idea change during the process?

I actually came up with the idea before I finished writing Someday, Maybe and started writing in earnest shortly before the first novel was published. There were so many angles I thought about exploring but quickly homed in on Aṅụrị and her sister’s bond and what it meant to want to prevent the repetition of online exploitation. There was one huge change I made and that was to the ending, which I rewrote about three weeks before I was due to submit the manuscript! All in all, from idea to publication, it was about five years. But from actual writing to publication, it will be roughly two years.

Were there any surprises or learning moments in the publishing process for this title?

I think the publishing process for my first novel really gave me insight into what to expect, and so this time around, there were no real surprises for me. I think I was able to get through my edits much quicker this time around and I can thank my wonderful editors in the U.S. and U.K. for that.

Were there any surprises in the writing process for this book?

There was not much psychological research available when I started writing this. There exist so many peer-reviewed studies on social media and its effect on children, but there wasn’t nearly as much on child influencers. What did help and is still helping is the influx of first-hand accounts of families and former child influencers and children of family vloggers who are being so incredibly open and transparent about their experiences. Now, it’s like I see an article almost every week, and I am glad the tide seems to be turning.

What do you hope readers will get out of your book?

It can be a little jarring to interrogate one’s relationship with the internet, social media, and the things we consume there. But I do hope that the book provokes some reflection on the choices we make around media and content consumption, and provides a little insight into the reality of the curated lifestyles presented to us.

If you could share one piece of advice with other writers, what would it be?

It doesn’t have to be perfect, it just has to exist! 

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