A Book Shower for the Single Woman
Debut authors have many traditional ways of celebrating their book release, but none of them hold the cultural cachet of a shower. And why shouldn’t a single woman without kids get to have that kind of experience to celebrate a literary milestone she has labored over for so many years?
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Many young girls dream of getting married and having a family. Having grown up in the South, I thought about those things at a young age, largely because the showers that preceded them were a big deal in my family. What started as intimate gatherings in my grandmother’s den when I was a kid took a big turn by the time I was in my late 20s. That was when my mother, expecting her first grandchild, rented a large room on the second floor of the gymnasium at the local public park.
She decked it out in handmade paper streamers with color coordinated paper plates, cups, and napkins and hosted nearly 70 people for the baby shower. While a celebration of this size is common by today’s standards, it was unexpected 20 years ago, a time when gender reveals were unheard of and long before people announced pregnancies on social media or via their holiday cards.
My extended family has been very supportive of my academic achievements. They filled a motor coach that my parents chartered for the eight-hour drive to my medical school graduation. As the first physician in my family, I will always cherish the memories of having my loved ones celebrate with me—from my parents being so focused on arriving at the graduation venue early that they directed the bus driver to leave the hotel without me to the moving speeches by family members and friends at my graduation dinner.
It was very much a day to celebrate our achievement, not just mine. And that was appropriate, since my family played such a large part in my decision to study medicine so that I could work to address the high rates of chronic illnesses like heart disease, high blood pressure, and diabetes that plague my family just like other Black families in the South.
As a child, I was more naturally inclined toward creative endeavors like writing, fashion design, and acting. But my family said I could always pursue those interests later. It took years for “later” to arrive, but it finally did. My debut novel, The Gardins of Edin, will be released on January 9, 2024. It can be challenging to juggle a fulltime career with planning for the release of your debut novel. So why would I carve out time to plan a book shower when I’m already pulled in so many directions?
One of the pieces of advice I’ve consistently received is that debut authors should celebrate the release in a way that’s meaningful to them. Maybe one day I’ll get married. Maybe one day I’ll have kids. But I don’t have to wait for those things to celebrate the once-in-a-lifetime milestone that’s already here.
Check out Rosey Lee’s The Gardins of Edin here:
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Since many women these days live fulfilled lives without partners or children and some of them are authors, it is notable that no one has written about having a book shower to celebrate their debut novel. I was inspired by an episode of Sex and the City entitled “A Woman’s Right to Shoes.” In the episode, Carrie’s designer shoes are stolen when she attends a baby shower where guests are asked to take off their shoes as they arrive at the home where the shower took place. Carrie’s friend, Kyra, the guest of honor, begrudgingly offers to pay for the shoes but changes her mind when she is told how pricey the shoes are.
The friends’ tense exchange causes Carrie to think about her lifestyle choices as a single woman without children and the money she has spent celebrating her married friends’ milestones, including Kyra’s engagement, wedding, and children. Carrie later phones Kyra to announce a marriage to herself and sets up a gift registry that includes a single item—a replacement pair of her stolen shoes, which Kyra purchases for her.
Like Carrie, I’ve attended countless showers over the years. I’ve been in friends’ and family members’ weddings and happily thrown bridal and baby showers in their honor. But I don’t have to wonder if it will ever be my turn to have a shower, because I have decided to throw one for myself. And, taking a cue from Carrie, I’m going to register too.
Of course, a shower is not about the gifts. My book shower is an opportunity to savor the impending arrival of my book, an achievement that feels more personal than other things I’ve accomplished, with people I care about. But who doesn’t love gifts? And because I’m such a thoughtful guest-of-honor (please note the intended sarcasm), I want to make it easy for any family members and friends who might feel so inclined to gift me with the thing that every debut author needs to smooth their transition into new authordom: preorders.
So, for my “gift registry,” I’m working on a relationship with a local independent bookstore that will offer signed copies of my book as well as copies to be donated to literacy organizations and other nonprofits. And with the early January timing of my book release, I won’t miss the opportunity to suggest during the shower that a preorder of the book could also make a lovely holiday present that will spread joy into the New Year for its recipient.
Maybe book showers will become a trend. Or maybe I will just enjoy the time for my loved ones to shower me with good wishes and congratulations on my debut. Either way, I hope to inspire other writers to celebrate their writing milestones in whatever way brings them joy and a trove of memories to treasure for the rest of their lives.
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