Eli Rallo: On Writing About Heartbreak
Eli Rallo is a social media star with massive followings on TikTok and Instagram. She is the host of the “Miss Congeniality” podcast and a graduate of Columbia University’s Graduate School of Journalism and the University of Michigan School of Music, Theatre & Dance. When she isn’t writing or TikTok-ing, you can find her at piano bars in the Village belting out show tunes. Follow her on TikTok and Instagram.
Eli Rallo
In this post, Eli discusses how going viral on social media led to her debut collection of essays, I Didn’t Know I Needed This, her hope for readers, and more!
Name: Eli Rallo
Literary agent: Mia Vitale and Sarah Passick (Park and Fine)
Book title: I Didn’t Know I Needed This
Publisher: HarperCollins
Release date: December 12, 2023
Genre/category: personal essay, dating and relationships
Elevator pitch: I Didn’t Know I Needed This is an advice column that looks less like “Dear Abby” and more like your audacious older sister sitting on your bed with a handle of tequila and a box of tissues and a bottle of lube and saying “If you like him … just tell him. Worst case it’s a good story, best case, it’s the rest of your life.” I Didn’t Know I Needed This will give you the rules for how to use your voice, how to f*ck to finish, what to wear on a first date and how to fall in love with yourself in such an intimate and truthful way that you will be fulfilled and invigorated. These are the rules for intimate and intimidating and fearless foreplay—in the bedroom and in life.
Bookshop | Amazon
[WD uses affiliate links.]
What prompted you to write this book?
After going viral on Instagram and TikTok for my lists of “rules”—which help people to elevate their lived experience in tangible and accessible ways—I realized that I could combine my passion for writing with my love for giving people advice and guidance. My incredible literary agents lit the spark that became a fire—and now we have I Didn’t Know I Needed This!
How long did it take to go from idea to publication? And did the idea change during the process?
January 2022 was when the idea was sparked, and the book will be published nearly two years later in December 2023. My agents Mia and Sarah reached out to me after seeing my writing on my newsletter (Substack) and my rules lists on TikTok. They had an idea for a book that married the two concepts (personal essay and “rules” lists)—and the idea grew from there. Interestingly enough, the idea and the original title did not change from January!
Were there any surprises or learning moments in the publishing process for this title?
If I’m being honest, most of the process was a learning moment. I was only 24 when I signed my book deal—and had no idea how the publishing industry worked. Every single day was a lesson, and as someone who values learning constantly, I loved this. I feel like not only did I learn so much about myself and my craft, but also about the publishing industry and process as a whole. As a debut author, I can confidently say I’m going into my book’s publication with an entirely new set of skills—and I’m really looking forward to being more well-versed in publishing for my future books.
Were there any surprises in the writing process for this book?
Writing about heartbreak definitely surprised me. Not because I am still heartbroken over these particular situations or people—but because I wish I could hold and heal the version of me who went through those heartbreaks and experienced that pain. It was a really unique feeling of discomfort to mourn versions of myself.
What do you hope readers will get out of your book?
I hope that readers feel inspired to take the thoughts and feelings they had while reading my book and turn those into real world conversations—with friends, romantic partners, family and more. I hope people feel inspired and empowered to choose themselves, every single day—to remember that this is their life, and they are in the driver’s seat.
If you could share one piece of advice with other writers, what would it be?
Read more than you write.
With a growing catalog of instructional writing videos available instantly, we have writing instruction on everything from improving your craft to getting published and finding an audience. New videos are added every month!