Kai Cheng Thom: On Writing Out of an Unexpected Dry Spell
Kai Cheng Thom is a writer, performance artist, and community healer. She is the author of the novel Fierce Femmes and Notorious Liars, which was chosen by Emma Watson for her online feminist book club and shortlisted for the Lambda Literary Award. Her poetry collection a place called No Homeland was an American Library Association Stonewall Honor Book, and her essay collection, I Hope We Choose Love, received a Publishing Triangle Award.
She writes the advice column “Ask Kai: Advice for the Apocalypse” for Xtra. Follow her on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.
Kai Cheng Thom
Rachel Woroner
In this post, she discusses how she wasn’t sure she’d ever write a book again, what helped get her out of unexpected writer’s block, and more.
Name: Kai Cheng Thom
Literary agent: Marilyn Biderman and Léonicka Valcius
Book title: Falling Back In Love With Being Human: Letters to Lost Souls
Publisher: The Dial Press (US) and Penguin Random House Canada (Canada)
Release date: August 1, 2023
Genre/category: Self-Help, Poetry
Previous titles: Fierce Femmes and Notorious Liars: A Dangerous Trans Girl’s Confabulous Memoir, a place called No Homeland, I HOPE WE CHOOSE LOVE, From the Stars in the Sky to the Fish in the Sea, For Laika: The Dog Who Learned the Names of the Stars
Elevator pitch for the book: Falling Back In Love With Being Human is a transformative collection of intimate and lyrical love letters that offer a path toward compassion, forgiveness, and self-acceptance. Each letter is interspersed with a prompt that guides the reader to take an expressive or reflective action towards greater love for self and others.
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What prompted you to write this book?
Falling Back In Love With Being Human was born in the summer of 2021 as an impulsive response to the intense cultural polarization that I felt (and still feel) in the world around me.
At the time, we were still in the early heights of the COVID-19 pandemic, not to mention a renewed social reckoning with issues of racial and social justice. In the midst of that intensity, many people and communities I love were embroiled in terrifying, heartbreaking, and at times even life-threatening conflict.
As an activist of many years, I felt powerless and defeated, I felt like I had failed somehow. So I started writing love letters. It was like a ritual practice, a prayer, though it wasn’t exactly religious. I wrote those love letters as a way of regaining my faith in human goodness, including my own.
How long did it take to go from idea to publication? And did the idea change during the process?
The actual text of the book actually emerged very quickly—the first draft was written in about four months, though of course the editing process took longer. The biggest shift from the initial idea to the published text was how much the theme of self-forgiveness came into it.
Initially, I had thought that all of the love letters would be written to people who I had some form of conflict with, like the letter to JK Rowling and the letter to trans-exclusionary radical feminists that show up about midway through the book. As it turned out, though, I had a lot of conflict with myself that I needed to write through—the person I have the hardest time loving isn’t a political adversary, but me.
Were there any surprises or learning moments in the publishing process for this title?
Yes, this is my first book with such a large publishing company, so I wasn’t sure what to expect from the publishing process despite having previously published five books with small independent presses. I’m really lucky to have had a fantastic time publishing all of my books so far!
One lovely surprise came with choosing the cover illustration for the book: When I’ve worked with independent publishers, I got to have a lot of input into cover design, and I personally chose the cover illustrator for three of my books. I wasn’t sure I’d have the same amount of input working with a big publisher, but as it turns out, the cover design for Falling Back In Love With Being Human was absolutely perfect for my vision of the work.
Were there any surprises in the writing process for this book?
The biggest surprise for me was that the book got written at all! I had been in a dry spell for some time, and I was struggling to get through a draft of a book of essays.
When I was in my early 20s, writing came easily and naturally to me—I’d basically never experienced writer’s block. Then COVID-19 came along, as well as a number of painful personal and political events, and my writing process slowed to a crawl.
I wasn’t sure I’d ever write a book again. Then Falling Back In Love With Being Human came along and practically wrote itself. I’m still amazed and very grateful that it did.
What do you hope readers will get out of your book?
My biggest hope is that readers will finish the book and feel even just a little bit more hopeful about the possibility of building bridges across emotional and ideological rifts. Human beings are so different from one another, so difficult and so divided. Yet I believe that we are each and every one of us full of sacredness and the potential for transformation. If nothing else, I hope that my readers remember that.
If you could share one piece of advice with other writers, what would it be?
Write courageously. Embrace the emotions inside you that you’re afraid are unworthy of being seen and give them life on the page. Write from the fierce belief that your words are worthy and worth reading. Write as though there was a reader out there, somewhere, waiting for the book that no one but you is capable of writing. Write for that reader and no one else.
While there’s no shortage of writing advice, it’s often scattered around—a piece of advice here, words of wisdom there. And in the moments when you most need writing advice, what you find might not resonate with you or speak to the issue you’re dealing with. In A Year of Writing Advice, the editors of Writer’s Digest have gathered thoughts, musings, and yes, advice from 365 authors in dozens of genres to help you on your writing journey.