Primer for Helping—and Tolerating—Your Annoying Artsy Friend

Don’t worry, this will all be over soon.

First, know that they know that you know (that everyone knows) they are that person. Go easy on them, considering how long they likely fought against this, when every instinct—not to mention most teachers and adults—encouraged them to attempt anything besides a life making up things (and possibly getting paid a living wage—ha!). If they’ve stuck with it, no matter what “success” they’ve had, measured by clicks, dollars, publications, attractive people who want to sleep with them because they’re artists (ha!), understand they have come fully to terms with the fact that it’s not with an expectation or even hope of fame and fortune; it’s because it’s probably the only thing they are good at doing.

(Should Writers Have a Newsletter?)

Also try to understand that, for better or worse, back in the day a writer could mostly focus on writing, and if a certain work saw the light of day, there was a machinery in place to help publish, promote, and sell it. Today? Producing a publishable book, itself something that might take years even for people who are really good at it, is the first in a series of daunting steps, which include assembling a portfolio of work in reputable outlets, establishing a social media presence, networking, lining up influencers who will blurb and help promote you, and being at once media-friendly and PR-savvy; essentially what in baseball is referred to as a five-tool player (so rare and coveted these athletic unicorns usually command multimillion-dollar signing bonuses). Then, maybe, you’ll find an agent willing to champion your work, and then, possibly, finding an editor who will try convincing their bosses that this book is worth an investment of a publisher’s time and resources. Then, a year or three later, the book sees the light of day. Keep in mind, this is pretty much the best-case scenario.

If you notice your friend, who should be proud of imminent publication (they are!), suddenly seems a tad extra, try to understand that DIY is, in almost all cases, simply the new normal. Also, the myth that writers ought to just focus on the craft and let all the crass marketing and sales play out in the free market is as pernicious as the notion that all real writers are miserable, or that writing is, of course, just as much a business as creative vocation. Spare a thought for these poor souls who understand revising works-in-progress offers fewer dopamine hits than being super-engaging on Twitter, and one reason they seem so out of their depth is that they’d rather be writing than self-promoting. Don’t worry, you can help!

Five Easy Pieces: Ways to Help Your Writer Friend

Reviews. 

They matter, they help, and they are easy. Every time I read about a band from back in the day trying to break through, it involved friends and family making repeated calls to the radio station to request that new song from that new album by that new band. It worked, albeit at a super granular level, but the key takeaway is that even in a time when everything was less complicated (you got a book deal, your publisher put it in bookstores, etc.) it still took a village. Consider leaving a review on Amazon, Goodreads, and any/all other outlets as the “request a song” throwback. It can take as little as five seconds (one second per star) or five minutes to craft a few sentences.

Socialize. 

Yes, we all love to hate social media. But whether it’s a restaurant, a cute dog pic, or your annoying friend’s new book, word of mouth still rules. Helping generate buzz is easy, and one way to think of it is that with an internet flooded with bickering and zero-sum game opinions on everything from presidential candidates to vaccines, putting some TLC into the feed will help restore some balance. Will your link to your author friend’s website demonstrably move the needle? Maybe not, but it definitely won’t hurt.

With a growing catalog of instructional writing videos available instantly, we have writing instruction on everything from improving your craft to getting published and finding an audience. New videos are added every month!

Show Up. 

If your friend is brave/crazy enough to do a public reading, make sure there’s at least one person in the audience. This might qualify as above and beyond (who wants to leave their comfy house to venture out and hear…a reading?), but I promise you, it’s a solid your friend will never, ever forget.

Give ’til it hurts. 

Buy a copy of the book, obviously. Buy another one, just to hand out to your one friend who reads. Or buy a copy that gets shipped to that friend. Or buy one to keep in the guest bathroom. Buy one as a future stocking stuffer. If you don’t have the dough to spare, don’t sweat it, but if you can shell out a few bucks, that’s the gift that keeps giving. Again, your friend understands all of his or her friends buying a copy or two won’t make or break the release, but if everyone does their part, the difference it makes is appreciable—and appreciated.

Pay it forward. 

Your friend will undoubtedly send an email (or two, hopefully no more than three) in the weeks leading up to the big publication day. Consider forwarding that email (or go crazy and add your own endorsement before passing along) to your network; cut and paste it and blast it out on the socials; send to friends and family; spread the word and help generate a bit of momentum.

Check out Sean Murphy’s This Kind of Man here:

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