Thoughts on Balancing Life as a Writer
Whenever I hear about a writer with his/her lovely routine of waking up with the brilliant sunrise, eating a bowl of Grape-Nuts and a sliced apple, taking a brisk walk in the forest, spending an hour at hot yoga, and then returning home to sit in a deliciously cozy writing nook and tap away on the latest novel, I get a little jealous. And maybe a little angry.
(Writing Mistakes Writers Make: Waiting for Inspiration to Strike.)
That’s because I don’t have a routine. Not really. I mean, how could I? I’m married with two kids and have a full-time job as a high school English teacher. For some reason, my wife isn’t fond of having mountains of laundry arising in every room or Sci-Fi mold growing in the bathroom, so I have to do some cleaning too. Life ain’t kind. And what about getting beers with my friends? Yeah, that’s important, too. As is reading, and watching movies, and exercising, and, well, lots of stuff.
So then how do we as writers balance it all? Professional tip: Ignore your job and your family. Problem solved! But, no. I guess it’s not so easy. The good news? Even though it doesn’t seem that way, there is time for everything. Really.
I feel like I’m a pretty slow writer, yet over the past 12 years, I’ve had 10 books published, and I haven’t been fired from my teaching job (yet), and my family hasn’t dumped me to the curb (yet). I do think that we have more time than we realize, but, of course, it’s a matter of prioritizing. Because of the unpredictability of work and family, a lot of us, myself included, can’t count on three hours of writing time each day. So instead, we have to be ready to snatch and smother opportunity.
So when that Sunday comes, and you look around and realize the rest of your family is watching penguins at the zoo, and you have a few hours of FREEDOM—that’s when you need to write. When the day is over, and the dishes are put away, and you want so much to sit on the couch and scroll through Instagram or take a nap before sleep—that’s when you need to write. When the ideas are itching at your brain stem, and your boss is rambling about cost/profit analysis, and you’re really good at making eye contact while multi-tasking—that’s when you need to write.
So, yeah, without a routine, the word count is a bit harder to come by, and that’s okay. Some days, when the planets align, you might get a thousand or more words written. On other days, the word count might be a half dozen. I used to feel guilty about those days. Not anymore. Writing is a part of my life. A big part. But it’s not my entire life. And on those days when writing isn’t happening, I do my best to be present in the world. And, hey, being present in the world isn’t a bad way to gain the type of perspective necessary to write the next great American novel.
Not to say this balance isn’t challenging! It is. As much as I’d love to believe in the power of inspiration, I do think that unrelenting discipline is how books are ultimately finished. You have to be disciplined enough to chase after those minutes or hours or days of writing, not doze off while the opportunity slips into the darkness unseen. But it’s doable! My novels are typically about 80,000 words. That’s around 220 words a day over the course of a year. Some days more, some days less. Truly, you don’t need to sacrifice your life for your novel. Maybe your sanity, but do we really need that?
For a long time, I also felt the need to compartmentalize my writing from my teaching and my family and my friends. But I’ve been much happier since I smooshed them all together. I don’t have to pick separate identities of writer, father, husband, teacher. I’m all of those things.
For my latest novel, The Memory Ward, I’ve actually involved my students in the upcoming release. A few of the more talented artists are creating pieces inspired by the disquieting plot. Other students are writing stories borrowing the themes and characters. One of my musical students is creating a film score. Talk about talented! And some of the drama kids are working together to create a trailer for the novel.
Look, I know none of this community involvement is likely to generate thousands of more books sold, but that’s not why I’m doing it. It’s no secret that writing can be isolating. It’s just you and the laptop and your (dark) thoughts. Sometimes you can feel like a ghost that can’t be seen. But being able to connect my art with my family and my community, where I’m sure they see me—well, that’s a pretty powerful thing.
Anyway, all of this is a work in progress. Sometimes I wish that I could disappear to some rustic cabin and spend my days and nights tapping away on my next lunatic novel. But then I remember that life is waiting to be lived alongside the art.
Check out Jon Bassoff’s The Memory Ward here:
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