Write What Obsesses You (and 4 More Tangible Writing Tips From Bestselling Author Meg Wolitzer)

The old writer’s adage says, “Write what you know.” Catchy and convenient, sure, but for me and lots of writers struggling to balance creativity with reality, it’s also frustratingly and discouragingly limiting. If I were to “write what I know” like you’re supposed to, it’d be all meeting deadlines, responsible parenting, and unloading the dishwasher.

(5 Pieces of Common Writing Advice You Should Absolutely Ignore.)

But maybe this ubiquitous writing rule is all wrong. Meg Wolitzer, bestselling author of The Female Persuasion and The Interestings, certainly thinks so. “It’s not write what you know,” she says, but “write what obsesses you.” 

For me right now, that’s her: I’ve got a half-dozen of her books in hand and have followed her all the way to Reykjavik to the Iceland Writers Retreat to attend her IRL, intimate, writers-only workshop called—you guessed it—“Write What Obsesses You.” In a surprisingly funny and completely accessible class full of tangible tips to be a better writer starting now, here’s what I learned.

What really obsesses you? Check your Google history

If you’re not quite sure (or not ready to admit, ahem) your obsessions, here’s a tangible tip to try: “Though no one would want to, look at everything you’ve Googled in the past 24 hours,” says Wolitzer. For her right now, that’s randomly Virginia Woolf, but the point still stands: Whatever is keeping you awake at 3am is something to think more about.

My search history is currently filled with Ancient Egypt, Iceland (for obvious reasons), “did Lizzie Borden do it?”, flower arranging classes, real estate, famous haunted hotel rooms, kids birthday party themes, and “Prince Harry psychology.” Probably none of these Google searches are novels, explains Wolitzer, but look for running themes as any one of them could be novel-adjacent. “As you think about what to write, look for that little overlap of what you’re thinking about all the time and what really matters to readers.” That’s your sweet writing spot right there.

Find your voice (on the phone with your BFF)

Each and every workshop I attended at the Iceland Writers Retreat touched on the ever-important, ever-elusive “voice.” It’s crucial and you need one, of course, but here’s one way to go about finding it: “You know that feeling where you want to talk to a friend, but a particular friend, because that friend gives you a certain feeling?” asks Wolitzer. Whether it’s her sarcasm, her melodrama, or her insightfulness, the friend brings a particular feeling that you’re after in the moment.

All of the above is also true in book form. “The works that we love, and the authors that we keep going back to, are those that deliver a very specific feeling. That feeling is a response to what we refer to as voice,” she says. One way to find your voice is to work backwards: “How do your friends think of you? Would they call you the serious one, the reliable one, the funny one? Don’t be afraid to use the qualities that are most you in your work.” And just like a lively phone call, the good stuff isn’t in big generics but in the little details that let your voice shine through.

Meg Wolitzer at the Iceland Writers Retreat (Photo credit: Laurie Moy)

Your story as a thickening stew

Just ask Tolstoy: First lines matter, a lot, and an opening done right could live far longer than you do. No pressure though. For anyone struggling to “grab” or “hook” the reader from sentence one, Wolitzer takes a gentler approach to starting her stories. “I tend to think of a hook as more like a bouillon cube,” she says. “The opening of the story is like a little concentrate about what the story’s going to be.” The same can be said of the first line, first paragraph, and first chapter, and altogether, good writing has a satisfying sort of “Russian nesting doll quality” that builds on and around the bouillon cube.

The good news is, unlike when you’re slow-cooking a soup, it’s very possible (and probably preferable) to go back in time and tweak your ingredients, all of which should come together at the end. At the dinner table, that’s probably your first taste of the meal, but when you’re reading, that’s a particular moment when the reader wises up and sees how everything seemingly random actually perfectly fits. “It’s a gut punch in fiction when the reader finally realizes why it all mattered.”

Wear your work like a kid wears a mitten

Ever have a great idea or turn of phrase and tell yourself no need to write that down because you’ll definitely remember something so clever? Probably constantly. Then did you immediately forget and it’s gone forever? Almost certainly. Luckily, this problem is easily fixed with the simplest of Meg Wolitzer’s writing tip: Bring your writing with you.

At the Iceland Writers Retreat, for most of us that’s a laptop and/or notebook, but even a napkin or the back of a receipt works in a pinch. “I always tell my students to keep their work close like a child’s mitten clipped onto a snowsuit,” says Wolitzer. In case it’s been a while, recall that kids travel with their mittens pinned to their coats, because if they don’t, the mitten’s inevitably gone by the end of the day. The same is true of your thoughts. “It’s important that your work be physically close to you,” she says. Whether that’s on your iPhone or a notebook or a special app, it should be right there at your fingertips at all times.

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Feeling blocked? Turn off your computer

The advice above was once a whole lot heavier and cumbersome: Wolitzer wrote her first book on an IBM Selectric, correcting errors with white-out as necessary. Hard to imagine in tech-filled 2024, which is supposed to make everything easier, but there are elements to the writing craft that we’ve lost to technology. “Computers are for everything now, which can be very dangerous,” says Wolizer, who’s watched the arrival of the internet and its effects on writing in real time. “You could be right in the middle of the most lyrical passage of your life when Top 10 Destination Spas pops up on Yahoo. Suddenly you’re there and the passage is gone.”

Besides closing Safari, Wolizer pushes back just a bit with a few key techniques: “Print your writing out, make it look sort of new in a new font if you want—Palatino 12 is excellent—and now you can really look at what you’re trying to do and if it’s really working.” Not sure? “Read it aloud to a friend,” says Wolitzer, “and watch for where they smile or laugh or nod.”

Meg Wolitzer at the Iceland Writers Retreat (Photo credit: Laurie Moy)

Another benefit of analog is the diary-esque privacy it allows for writers to subscribe to this powerful writing mantra that Wolitzer loves: “The first draft is for the writer, the second draft’s for the editor, and the third draft is for the reader.” Forget about whether it will get published, or if it will get good reviews, or if your mother-in-law will be mad at you and just write. “Think about what you could write if you could write whatever you want,” says Wolitzer. It’s probably something of an obsession already and it’s probably already calling your name. “If you want to take your work deeper,” she says, “start there.”